pinky promises

He took me to the playground with expectations
He took me to the playground and climbed the stairs

but I hesitated

I looked around at the sanctum of my youth
Nostalgia pricked my chest
and the familiarity stirred sedated memories
It all appeared precisely the same but simply
                                                                                                      felt
                                                                                                                  different

maybe I'm different

It's all distinct in my mind
I recall the thrill of being pushed down the slide
of being chased, being breathless, through a labyrinth of impediments
leaping, ducking, racing, slipping through the cracks
I remember swinging high enough to taste the clouds
of tricking gravity for an instant, hovering midair in the stratosphere
of falling back down
and constant undiluted, deranged laughter

maybe I'm delusional

but I couldn't discern the extraordinary when I was with Him
All I saw was an empty playground
A rusty structure designed to provide entertainment
no, we aren't kids anymore
but I'm still just a girl and He's still just a boy and

I still daydream

He took me to the playground and I was skeptical
of the way the swing set creaked when I used it
and of what He had buried in the sandbox
and whether it be wood chips or rubber or gravel or asphalt
I'm careful not to fall
because now the cuts are deeper and the band aids never did stick

I finally lost my grip on the monkey bars

because He was always seeking but I made sure He'd never find me

He took me to the playground and I left confused

You took me to the playground and it all made sense