and I sprint
what for, I don't always know, I just need to escape for a fragment of time
Music hammers through my head like a catastrophic sonar. It identifies the reasons why my legs insist on pushing forward. Submerged inside, the muddled basis of my actions are detected
I hear the screams of despairing souls, studying me with hollow eyes, picking out every flaw, every adjustment to be made
And I sprint
And I sprint
I hear my father shouting at the top of his lungs
to go to bed earlier and make school on time and do my chores and get up for church and stop making stupid decisions
I hear doors slammed and see the tears soaking through the carpet of those closed doors
and I sprint
from the future hot on my heels, grasping at the fabric of my shirt, taunting me to graduate from high school and settle somewhere and give up on my hopeless dreams
from a mundane metamorphosis into an adult, from taxes and routine and organized family gatherings
I envision myself years from now, my homeless heart still wandering across the highway in search of permanent residence, losing bits and pieces at each motel and 24- hour pit stop
and I sprint
I see death on my shoulder, at every street corner, in a puddle's reflection, painted across a thundering sky, disguised on a billboard, hovering by each stop sign
and I sprint
from every shipwreck scattered across the depth of my soul, from every unrecorded earthquake and every island of misfit toys
I'm out of breath.
inhale through my lips
exhale through my nose
stopping in the middle of nowhere, I collapse on the ground and let my brain seep out onto the asphalt, like a spilt bowl of alphabet soup
"It's over, It's too much, I can't take another minute of this" it spells
my joints are weak, my knees are scraped, my eyes are blurry, my muscles are overworked, my throat is dry, my heart destitute
but eventually my heartbeat slows down and the song ends and my shoelaces are retied
with a familiar sigh, I heave myself up
and sprint back home.
"I envision myself years from now, my homeless heart still wandering across the highway in search of permanent residence, losing bits and pieces at each motel and 24- hour pit stop"
ReplyDelete"but eventually my heartbeat slows down and the song ends and my shoelaces are retied
ReplyDeletewith a familiar sigh, I heave myself up
and sprint back home."
this all was really good, last line made my heart feel it pick itself back up.
"my homeless heart still wandering across the highway in search of permanent residence, losing bits and pieces at each motel and 24- hour pit stop" this was tangible. "and I sprint" I liked this a lot.
ReplyDelete